The media have a bad name these days, and I think I know why. The public in general don't care about politics, have seen enough war to last a lifetime, and have plenty of access to sport elsewhere.
What's really missing, is stories about goats.
For example, this story from 2006 is one of the finest examples of journalism the world has ever seen:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm
It remains the most read story on the BBC News website of all time, and for good reason. It has everything you could possibly want, and more. We've all done things we regret after a drink or two, but it would take something spectacular to beat Mr Tombe's reaction when he woke up in the morning next to a goat in a wedding dress and 15 grand down. The couple were to live happily until May last year, when tragedy struck the Sudanese Romeo and Juliet.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article1744570.ece
The untimely death of Rose Tombe broke hearts around the world. As if his wife choking to death on a plastic bag was not enough, his former spouse was turned into curry and eaten by the people of the village.
And so it seemed that goat journalism had reached its pinnacle. Surely there was nothing out there in the goativerse that could beat the tragic love tale of Rose and Charles Tombe?
Think again.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/01/24/2473591.htm
Magic goat arrested. If there is a better opening three worlds in the history of journalism, I am yet to see it. Nothing I can say will do justice to the sheer brilliance of this story, however I must pay tribute to the person who, when faced with armed police, said "it wasn't me, the goat did it!". Quite why a goat, or anyone for that matter, would want a Mazda remains to be seen.
Surely that is it then? The greatest goat story of all time?
It seemed so, until the June 10th edition of Yorkshire local news programme Calender. It featured a report on Darren the goat. Darren is not just any old goat however. Darren is a waving goat. The sight of a news reporter waving at a goat for several minutes is conclusive proof that British journalism is not dead. See the wonder for yourself below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJjh8ZylJjI
So then, the answer to the public's plummeting trust in the media is clear. More stories on goats. I have prepared a number of examples of what I expect to see the goat reporters of the nation bringing to us in 2010.
The Daily Mail - Illegal Immigrant Goats: Coming to steal your children and lower your house price
Daily Express - Was Diana murdered by a goat?
The Sun - BIG BROTHBAA - All the news on the first ever goat housemate
An exciting future awaits us all.
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